Its been 16 wks of school and I can tell you there has been nothing normal about school 2020 style. Sapphire started her Freshman year so excited even with the fact she’d have to do it from home…then reality set in. By week 4 she would have a daily cry and a stomp around the house because of her perception of poor communication, lack of understanding  and general frustration with school from home. 

Honestly, out of fear I kept her home.  Back in June I said God what would you have me do? Should I let her back in school with the virus raging. Then a peace came over me and I knew i wouldn’t have to make the choice. And I didn’t…they closed the schools for the first 9wks. God knew my concerns about her going so in true FATHER form he allowed me to take the safe route and learn the lesson. He knew I had to see Sapphire struggle before I would let her go back to school willingly. 

So after 9wks of crying and feelings of loneliness we were able to switch to going on campus twice a week. And then SHE WAS BACK. My happy-go-lucky, social butterfly, fashionista was back. Sapphire went from a depressed and stressed freshman to a fun loving delight in a week. I had not seen the decline into depression on her because I enjoyed staying home and we would still take small trips here and there so I thought it was enough. I didn’t realize how sad she was until she was waking me up in the middle of the night crying that her life sucked. The first night I talked her through it…the 2nd time I called in the calvary….my sister circle, prayer, and the church counselors. They all stepped up and spent time talking with Sapphire but the ultimate change was me getting over my own fears and allowing my social butterfly to bloom. 

Now she’s in school and has funny stories for me every day. We wear a mask and wash our hands and the school does an excellent job of keeping the children safe. Now if we could just keep the boys away…🧐

I’m the ‘what if’ type…I run through different scenarios in my head and what I would do if this or that would happen. This coronavirus outbreak was one of my ‘what if’s’…being sheltered in place with limited resources and having to protect my child.  Fears that we’d get separated and I wouldn’t be able to get back to her, she’d be lost and afraid. And the whole social isolation…the worse punishment ever! Yes, it feels like a punishment, I am 1 of 7 children so I’m just used to being around people. I need community and not ashamed to say it! Can we say worse fears coming to life!  

Just as I started to feel my anxiety rising, I was reminded in prayer of all the time my heavenly Father has covered me and protected me. I started to think about times when I had $20 to buy food for the week, when my employment was uncertain, when all my friends started to move away and yet I’d made it through those times so why fear now?!?  As I spent time just thinking and processing this whole thing, I could see God’s hand at work. Every trail he’s taken we through in the last 10yrs has been chipping away at my fears about safety, health, and stability. God has been strengthening me and stabilizing me this whole time. Now I’m more than confident that I am not alone, He’s always been there: leading, guiding, and protecting. Psalms 23 Says He is my shepherd I have everything I need.  And when I walk through shadowy places I don’t have to fear because he is with me.

Single Parents- I know it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders but know that you are not alone. Spend time talking to God and allow him to talk back. He will give you wisdom on how to stay safe, witty ideas to home school your kids and inventions on how to make the dollar stretch. If we allow him, God will carry the weight of our issues: we just have to give it to Him.

A scripture to consider

Matthew 6: 25-34 (Do Not Worry)

26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.

29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.

30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?

31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’

32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.