In my previous post I talked about the family unity that has prevailed in spite of being quarantined in small quarters. Often times, when we speak truth and encouragement in faith…the devil will try to test it. And that he did…

Last week Sapphire came to me in tears, face completely defeated and broken.  I tossed my laptop on the couch and cradled my baby on my lap. She’d just had a conversation with her father.  Seems like the financial pressures and his job being furloughed got to him. He allowed his temper to get out of control and he yelled at her. Sapphire said he made her feel like his situation was all her fault because she’s always asking for things. Well, she’s 13 yrs old…she’s always asking for the next best thing. At this age she is not in a place to know when to ask for things (or not). Nor is she at a level of maturity to deceiver responsibility and not accept someone’s issues as her own. So she cried, long and hard, because she’d messed up everything with no way to fix it. I know this was an attach of the enemy because usually her father is on her side and wouldn’t make her feel bad. But the devil will use anything to stir up a fight.

I wanted to call and curse my ex-husband out!! Make him feel as low as he made my baby feel. But instead, I rocked her in my lap. I dried her tears and reminded her of a few things. Number one, her dad lives 1000 miles away and cannot take anything. And two, if he was close enough to try, our Texas family wouldn’t allow him access to us. Then we talked about who her Heavenly Father says she is…a blessing from God (Psalms 127:4), a child of the king (1 John 3:1), and that God knew her before she was born and has a plan for her life (Jeremiah 1:5).  I let her know that she’s not in the way and not too expensive. Reassured her that mom can take care of her needs because our Heavenly Father provides everything we need. We discussed the idea of resources we have to aid in our lifestyle vs the source: God who is sovereign and through him all blessings flow.  By the end of the conversation we both were laughing and wiping tears way.

Because the devil knows my trigger points and what can provoke me he created a conflict. This usually would have created a heated argument and that emotional push and pull with Sapphire in the middle.  But not this time. I took a step back and allowed God’s word to fight this spiritual battle. As I reassured Sapphire with scripture i definitely encouraged myself, too. I’ve learned this continued reassurance is the most effective way to combat the devil and heal a broken heart. This fight I took to the Lord in prayer instead of defending myself or Sapphire. The lord will fight this battle. 

#WinningInSilence

I’m the ‘what if’ type…I run through different scenarios in my head and what I would do if this or that would happen. This coronavirus outbreak was one of my ‘what if’s’…being sheltered in place with limited resources and having to protect my child.  Fears that we’d get separated and I wouldn’t be able to get back to her, she’d be lost and afraid. And the whole social isolation…the worse punishment ever! Yes, it feels like a punishment, I am 1 of 7 children so I’m just used to being around people. I need community and not ashamed to say it! Can we say worse fears coming to life!  

Just as I started to feel my anxiety rising, I was reminded in prayer of all the time my heavenly Father has covered me and protected me. I started to think about times when I had $20 to buy food for the week, when my employment was uncertain, when all my friends started to move away and yet I’d made it through those times so why fear now?!?  As I spent time just thinking and processing this whole thing, I could see God’s hand at work. Every trail he’s taken we through in the last 10yrs has been chipping away at my fears about safety, health, and stability. God has been strengthening me and stabilizing me this whole time. Now I’m more than confident that I am not alone, He’s always been there: leading, guiding, and protecting. Psalms 23 Says He is my shepherd I have everything I need.  And when I walk through shadowy places I don’t have to fear because he is with me.

Single Parents- I know it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders but know that you are not alone. Spend time talking to God and allow him to talk back. He will give you wisdom on how to stay safe, witty ideas to home school your kids and inventions on how to make the dollar stretch. If we allow him, God will carry the weight of our issues: we just have to give it to Him.

A scripture to consider

Matthew 6: 25-34 (Do Not Worry)

26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.

29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.

30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?

31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’

32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.